Luna

This little lady needed our help urgently. She had suffered an unknown traumatic event which has caused paralysis in a rear leg. The farmer, who called us direct, wanted her to get better and have a life where she was cared for. He did not have the time to give to her and it was unclear if she would be able to stand and, therefore, may not be a profitable enterprise. He did not want to put her to her death, and was very pleased to relinquish her to our Sanctuary.

We collected Luna, at that time unnamed, and settled her in our barn. A fundraiser on Facebook helped us to choose a name, and raise funds to buy lifting equipment to try to get her on her feet. Sadly, despite all the care and Luna’s fighting spirit, she left us in June 2020

When an angel comes into your life, it is without fanfare, wings or rays of sunlight. They slide in, quietly, unassuming and wait. Watch whom they have chosen to share time with, and wait to see who you are and how you behave. An angel to my mind comes in every form, for they are characters that are not involved with how they look. They are there to remind us, how beautiful we can be from within, if we take a moment to pause and remember our kindest self.

We had an angel within a body that was not able to function without help. When she first arrived in this world her form was healthy, until this was hurt and broken by her first visit with a human. Our ginger angel arrived to us very broken.

When I think of her, my throat tightens with loss and with love. I want to hold her close, smell her again, tend to her needs. Grief is a cruel bedfellow, it makes the sea rush loudly in my ears. Although her room has been cleaned, her smell lingers. That warm sunshine and grass smell that pervaded, with an undertone of old teddy’s and antique bookshops. The kind you find down cobbled alleys, with dust collecting in the corners of shelves ; knicknacks unrelated to anything on display.

How best to describe who she was? She was a dear friend, my confident, my confessional, my hug through the day. To sit next to her was to know love, deep down, warm your socks love. She plastered me with it, any hurt, or worry would melt in her clear, childlike gaze. I used to kiss her between the ears, on the back of her head ; the soft curls, tickling my nose. If I could have breathed her in, I probably would have. She loved to be loved. She gave it with abandon, to whomever would take the time to sit, to still their mind, to listen to the quiet within themselves and just be with her.

The world is a little more grey without our angel here, yet to have known her, was to know the highest moments of beauty, of innocence, of joy. Joy at the small things in life, that many overlook or take for granted.

Her parting away from us, catches me off guard. A sob will bubble up, at the oddest times. I wake in the morning, my first visit of the day was to her. Now I stand in her space where she once was and remember her and how extremely lucky I was to have known her. I also ask that she stands close to others like her, that are afraid, or hurting, or being used, and give them her strength and her love. I look at her bowl, her brush, with remnants of her hair and feel loss deeply. Her blankets have been washed and stored away, waiting for the next soul in need, she would have wanted us to do that. I’m not yet ready to clean her brush.

I want her back, but know she is in the soup of the universe. I hope she chooses more wisely when she returns and skips past those that want to cause her harm. Maybe she will return to a kinder world, a compassionate one, deserving of her. Maybe she will bump into me again one day. I will know her gaze, her feeling, whichever eyes she decides to look out of.

My beloved Luna, the sweetest cow person ; we remember you with love. May you grace someone again, with your peace, your dignity and forgiveness.

Luna Maguna, Ginger Fluffball forever in our hearts, thank you for choosing us